Bengali Humour

I received this as junk mail. I couldn't resist the temptation to post it here. My full apologies to Bengali friends, no ill-will is intended, just fun.

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What do you call:

A mad Bengali?
In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster?
Rob in Ganguli.

A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Das.

A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla.

A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee.

An outlawed Bengali?
Bonduk Bannerjee.

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu.

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu.

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding.

A burping Bengali?
Mukhopadhyay.

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What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal.

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What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Ghoosh.

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How does the Bong learn the alphabet?
A for Orange, B for Begetable....

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How does a Bong relax in the evening?
He goes to the Howrah Brij to get some Breej.

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What does a Bong with a broken heart say?
My hurt is hearting.

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What do you call a Bengali who works?
A work of fiction.

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Satyam Jokes

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Raju Raju
Yes papa.
Cheating shareholders?
No papa.
Telling lies?
No papa.
Open your balance sheet.
Ha ha ha !

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What is 2+2?

Engineer: 4.

Judge: It should be 4.

Politician: I will make it 4.

Raju: You tell me what you want it to be.

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Child to mother: Mama, there is an error in this dictionary.

Mama: Can't be, it is a 100 year old dictionary which has been revised more than 20 times.

Child: No, mama, I am sure it is a mistake.

Mama: Ok, tell me what is it.

Child: It says here, Satyam means truth.

***

After Raju lost his job at Satyam, the Chefs association of India offered him a job at a fabulous salary.

They were convinced of his culinary abilities after seeing the way he had cooked the Satyam books!

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Santa to Banta indignantly: I didn't know that even our government is into promoting corruption.

Banta (with a yawn): Say something new.

Santa: No, this is the absolute pits.

Banta (resignedly): Ok bum, tell me.

Santa (showing a rupee coin): Do you see what is written on this?

Banata: What is written on it?

Santa: Read it for yourself.

Banta: I am too tired. You tell me.

Santa: It says here, Satyameva jayate.

Banta: What!

Banta was all attention now.

***

Why are Salman Rushdie, Abhimanyu Chatterjee, Shobha De and Arundhati Roy in such an awful mood after Satyam?

Because their books have been overtaken in the best-selling ficition category by Satyam Accounts.

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Papa was examining beta's math's homework.

Papa: Beta, you have committed a mistake here.

Beta: Where?

Papa: Here. You have written, 1+1 = 11. It should be 2.

Beta: No papa, that was old Maths. After Satyam the rules of arithmetic have changed. Now 1+1 makes 11.

***

More Satyam jokes in my जयहिंदी blog.